beat by the monkey 

When someone in school gets such a low score on a multiple choice test that a monkey filling in random answers would have beaten them.

Deon: What the..? I got a 12% on my biology midterm!

Poindexter: Weren't there only 4 possible answers for each question? You should have gotten a 25% even if you guessed on every single one!

Deon: How can this be? How can I know LESS than nothing?

Poindexter: Haha, you got beat by the monkey.

beat by the monkey by DeanAmine October 6, 2010

Beat by the monkeys 

To be badly beaten by hoards of individually pathetic opponents. The expression is believed to be derived from an event that occurred to a cutter who was severely injured by a hoard of angry spider monkeys. However, it's also used commonly by soldiers referring to fellow trained fighters who're defeated by civilians...

Poor Captain Jack, he was an MMA fighter but he still got beat by the monkeys when he was drunk at a grocery store and started a fight with some bagboys.

Beat by the monkeys by Zed Numar July 13, 2021