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ASSWHAFFLE 

Is a person that will lean on your dock box with a cold beer and tell you what you're doing wrong on that smokey diesel as you swear, kick and sweat. They'll come to your rescue with a cold beer, a willing hand, tools and shared lessons learned the hard way. Much like a kid, you won't listen and someday after you've "matured" in this new life of wind and sails, you might be the Asswhaffle passing along your knowledge to the new guy.
Or it might be that arm chair sailor that really did know his shit back in the the day, who for reasons unknown can't be on the water that he loves anymore, but he longs to share his glorious stories; listen to his stories with your BS filter turned on high: you might learn, laugh, walk away shaking your head in disbelief or you might just be getting a glimpse into your future
An Asswhaffle will loan you their cleanest dirty shirt for a job interview at the bike rental shop so you can live your dream on your boat.
An Asswhaffle will, in light jest (unless you jeopardize the safety of passengers, crew & those around you), point out the errors of your ways so that you become a safer Asswhaffler for the safety of Asswhafflers on all of Mother Earth's waterways.
An Asswhaffle is someone that's a little funky, eccentric, marches to the beat of their own drum, makes their own rules, helps others when (s)he can, never wastes what (s)he takes from Mother Earth & always pays it forward.
(c) Kristine E Gentry 2015
I went over to the tiki bar looking for an Asswhaffle to help me scrape paint off of the hull of my boat.
ASSWHAFFLE by KEGGERS February 28, 2015

asschaffiritis 

I have the worst case of asschaffiritis from this heat!!
asschaffiritis by Chrisboren270 August 18, 2017

asswhaffle yacht club 

Member of Asswhaffle YC: Is a person that will lean on your dock box with a cold beer and tell you what you're doing wrong on that smokey diesel as you swear, kick and sweat. They'll come to your rescue with a cold beer, a willing hand, tools and shared lessons learned the hard way. Much like a kid, you won't listen and someday after you've "matured" in this new life of wind and sails, you might be the Asswhaffle passing along your knowledge to the new guy.
Or it might be that arm chair sailor that really did know his shit back in the the day, who for reasons unknown can't be on the water that he loves anymore, but he longs to share his glorious stories; listen to his stories with your BS filter turned on high: you might learn, laugh, walk away shaking your head in disbelief or you might just be getting a glimpse into your future
An Asswhaffle will loan you their cleanest dirty shirt for a job interview at the bike rental shop so you can live your dream on your boat.
An Asswhaffle will, in light jest (unless you jeopardize the safety of passengers, crew & those around you), point out the errors of your ways so that you become a safer Asswhaffler for the safety of Asswhafflers on all of Mother Earth's waterways.
An Asswhaffle is someone that's a little funky, eccentric, marches to the beat of their own drum, makes their own rules, helps others when (s)he can, never wastes what (s)he takes from Mother Earth & always pays it forward.
(c) Kristine E Gentry 2015
I am a member of the Asswhaffle Yacht Club and always buy the first round of rum drinks.
asswhaffle yacht club by KEGGERS February 28, 2015

Ass Chaff 

Ass Chaff is the detrius which is flung against the bowl when you fart while shitting. Often acompanied by a loud bowl barker. Often your only hope of warding off a rump ranger or bum ninja ... in this case you hope bowl barking occurs.
1. Dude I blew some serious ass chaff from those taco's at lunch.

2. OMG Jim, I was so drunk last night when the resident ass bandit tried to rape me I couldn't move, luckily for me I was so scared I blew ass chaff when he yanked my shorts down. Otherwise ... I'd have been turd burgled