The inability to function on a physical, mental and emotional level when exposed to water.
Originated from the hydrological definition of an underground aquifer no longer able to retrieve water.
Causations: Belly-flop, exhaustion, concussion, swimming into a yellow plume, discovering a brown smear on your chest, falling off the inflatable donut etc.
"So how did the kids go at the swimming finals?"
"Well Shayne did pretty good, but Dayna was a bit of an aquitard"
A person generaly mentally unstable that claims to be a famous mermaid but in reality is just a fiend intemperance of the human imagination. Is extremely in denial of not being a goddess.
Ilana: Im Ariel and a mermaid!
Everyone: No your just an aquitard
An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"
Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."