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The sound made when a person clears his/her throat, often interjected when speaking or writing to indicate that the next word or phrase is used ironically or euphemistically, (esp. with regard to sexual euphemisms).

Sometimes used to replace a sexually explicit word or phrase altogether.

When used on its own or at the end of a sentence, indicates that the entire previous sentence has been intended ironically or euphemistically.

Similar to the addition of "not", as in: "Well that TV show was interesting ... not."

Often written with asterisks.
"Jacob and I *ahem* got to know each other better last night."
"Let's go home after dinner and ... *ahem*."
"I love my job. Ahem."
by fonetik October 02, 2005
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2
The noise made to suggest a reminder to someone when they have failed to do something. 'Ahem' can be used to indicate annoyance and draw attention to the problem.
Ermentrude: "Ahem."
Chet: "What?"
Ermentude: You were meant to message me on facebook ages ago and you haven't. Thanks a lot - some friend you are."
by ALEX THE GNOME August 20, 2013
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4
When someone says something beyond stupidity without any compromisable answer, due to the comment, they are greeted with a shocked/stunned face and a hand movement,whereby your hand is held close to your top lip, flat,palm down
Alice: I love the sky, its blueeeeee
everyone: AHEM :|

followed by much mocking and teasing
by LEWIS December 01, 2003
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5
a word that can be used to cover up any 'unholy' word. must be used with 'bunny' fingers, for extra effect.
oh 'ahem', that 'ahem' is 'aheming' that little 'ahem', i'm gunna 'ahem' that 'ahem'.
by harriet May 31, 2004
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6
Lewis' comments whilst waiting for the Muse gig on November 27th 2003
"I'm hitting the note" AHEM

"Yes, feel free to blow me up with a bomb" AHEM
by Dr Dock December 02, 2003
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