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You gotta be dry humpin me! 

Much more impactful, thrilling and hilarious way to say 'You gotta be kidding me!' with umph.
Mary: Hey, John. I stayed over at your friend's house last night but woke up in the middle of the woods on my hands & knees in a pile of dirt with a condom up my butt, but I swear I would never cheat on you.
John: He literally played that camping joke on you? You gotta be dry humpin me!!!
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