Uncontrollaboner

The hardest of the hard, this boner is relentlessly stiff. Can be onset by Viagra, Cialis, et al. but is more often experienced in morning wood, or generally at times when you really don't need it THAT hard.

Herp: You're walking like an idiot, what's wrong with you?

Derp: Uncontrollaboner. There's nothing I can do.

Herp: I wouldn't say NOTHING...

Derp: Dude, did you just come on to me?