Eric couldn't use the public toilet, so he had to wait until he had some privacy in the shower and do some turdstomping.

You: We're gonna be late! Get ready man!
Me: It's cool, I'll be ready in 5 minutes if I turdstomp instead of sitting.

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz