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Topper

An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic outcome. They've done everything you have, only more often... and better than you.
You: I got to meet Engelbert Humperdinck before the concert and I got his autograph.

Topper: Yeah, well my cousin knows his producer, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met him! Then he invited us back to his hotel room and we partied with him all night.

You: Ow. I have a a dislocated knee.

Topper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have titanium pins inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months... and I always set off the metal detectors at the airport!
by VCM1973 October 20, 2010
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topper

a person, who after hearing a story, responds with one of their own which is intended to belittle or "top" the previous one. usually, toppper's stories are complete and utter fabrications of their limited immaginations. extreme toppers actually believe their own impossible lies, and fantasize about their mothers.
c'mon, you don't need an example, we all know people like this.
by lungpig June 18, 2003
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topper

the ultimate one-upper. the person who is on top of everyone else regarding anything. and i mean anything.
girl #1: holds hair with hand across upper-lip making it look like a mustache.

girl #2: holds hair across upper-lip making it look like a mustache withOUT using her hand.

girl #1 to go girl #2: "you fuckin TOPPER!"
by slott December 8, 2009
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Topper

"can I use your topper please"

"Only if you fUCKING CALL IT A PENCIL-SHARPENER YOU UNCULTURED PIECE OF OVER GROWN CABBAGE
by RainbowMug June 14, 2019
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topper

A topper, derived from the word top (tongue on penis), is a girl who is known for administering oral sex.
Danielle is a topper, you should take her to prom if you want to get your dick wet.
by DJ D-Ret October 23, 2006
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Topper

Noun. The last toke you take before you stop smoking weed because you are as high as you want to be.
"No thanks man, that last one was my topper."

"No dude, I topped out already."

"I had to pick up the phone just as I was exhaling my topper! I hate talking to people when I'm high; it was like, "I know I'm talking too much, but I don't know what I can leave out of what I'm saying!"
by Thomas Shane January 8, 2010
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topper

A poo that is so large in the toilet it breaks the top of the water surface.
Friend: Man you were in the bathroom forever.

Me: Oh yeah man I had to take a topper.
by randomreboot26 November 17, 2011
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