Skip to main content

The Commandments

The commandments that Moses dropped on the way down the mountain and were recovered by three dudes in Colorado. These were the real commandments written as law for stoners, sinners and macdaddy's.

1. thought shalt get laid

2.though shall not be gay

3.thou shalt have a honey wagon

4. thou shalt scam on honeys

5.thou shall not rub thine self in vasaline

6.thou shall not finger thine cat (that means you kris!!)

7. thou shall make monthly pilgrameges to the mall in search for slimys

8.thou shall get stoned

9. gretta is a bitch and that is that

10. though sall not name thine kid isaac (god that's a gay name)
the commandments make life barable
by biscuit bega December 31, 2005
mugGet the The Commandments mug.

The Commandments of Gaming

1: Gaming is thy holy pastime, thou shalt not have outdoor activities before thee.

2: Thou shalt not be fanboyish in the name of gaming.

3: Remember keep holy the game relese dates.

4: Honor thy PC and thy console.

5: Thou shalt not kill steal.

6: Thou shalt not frag...without gloating in the aftermath.

7: Thou shalt lose graciously; Thou shalt not bitch nor whine when fragged.

8: Thou shalt accept thy dice rolls as the will of the gods.

9: Thou shalt teabag only in the wake of unquestionable ownage.

10: Thou shalt not cheat nor support the farming of gold.

11: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's roket launcher; Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's epic mount, nor his video card, nor his high score.

12: Know thy group function; Thy DPS shalt avoid aggro, thy tank shalt not attempt to DPS, thy mage shalt not forget mana potions, and thy healer shalt not go AFK without notifying thy group.
by TheHanyou April 11, 2010
mugGet the The Commandments of Gaming mug.

broke as the ten commandments

Having no available cash to spend
Tom: 'hey bro, you got any cash?'
Mike: 'no cat, I'm broke as the ten commandments.'
by Woody Thomas July 28, 2008
mugGet the broke as the ten commandments mug.

The 10 Commandments

1. You shall have no other God’s before me.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy.

5. Honor your father and mother.

6. Thou shalt not kill. — God wants us to protect human life.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

9. Thou shall not bear false witness.

10. You shall not covet.

I'm sure the Urban Dictionary has the meanings of the words, I would tell you, but that would probably be to long of a definition. Read Exodus 20 for more answers.
"The 10 Commandments are..."
by Unknown Status October 29, 2022
mugGet the The 10 Commandments mug.

The Five Commandments

From the First Church Of Satan (FCOS) Come The Five Commandments Of Satan (FCOS):

1) Thou shalt love thy neighbor's wife until her husband comes home from work early one day, catches you in bed with her & kicks your ass! 2) Thou shalt not covet what I have stolen from you because you shall never get it back! 3) Thou shalt not take my name in vein unless if you are using a syringe containing all of the letters of my name within it, but you must never share the needle! 4) Thou shalt not bow down before any other god but me or I will come up from behind you & get busy! 5) Thou shalt turn the other cheek until your neck twists around & breaks, your spinal chord rips in two and your head falls in your lap!
"I prefer the 42 Laws of Ma'at over the Ten Commandments and the Five Commandments of Satan."
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 25, 2023
mugGet the The Five Commandments mug.

The Greg Commandments

1. We shall not betray Greg.

2. We shall spread the word of Gregatorius and follow in his word
3. We shall not sin against Greggy and we will be condemned if so
4. We must bow to our lord every time we encounter the God and our savior.
5. Treat your neighbor like how you would treat Greg
6. You shall not lie, replace, or steal from our grand master
7. You shall not curse or degrade our Greg or punishment such as murder, spanking, and words Greg wouldn’t want to hear would be done and said
8. Be obedient to Greg
9. If Greg chooses to marry and date anyone but his followers, respect his choice but behind his back cry all your tears out, don’t let our God see us vulnerable, we must be strong

10. If his fellow lads stare or degrade us, don’t be afraid to do it back
We must follow the Greg Commandments in order to succeed.
by imgay,reallygay September 5, 2021
mugGet the The Greg Commandments mug.

The Ten Commandments

1) The Younger The Better

2) The Tighter The Better

3) It's Not A Crime If You Don't Get Caught

4) Young Enough To Read Young Enough To Bleed

5) It's Not Who You Know It's Who You Blow

6) If You Can't Join Them ((Women)Baines), Beat Them

7) If You Can Get It In You Can Do Anything

8) A Real Man Loves His Woman Every Day Of The Month

9) If It Hurts, It Works

10) Catch It, Scat It, Rape It, Bin It

***ADDITIONAL***

11) Some Can, Some Can't

12) Bag And Rag, Hump And Dump

IF THEE FOLLOWETH THESE HOLY VOWS, THY WORLD IS THYINE OYSTER SHAA-MOAN!

PEACE
Omg i just read the sickest thing today on UD man, it was the ten commandments that guy did, totally whack!

Really where they bad?

Oh man u shudda seen it, check it tonight

Will do bro, will do
mugGet the The Ten Commandments mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email