The Shawn 

While extremely drunk, you somehow summon the literature gods and write an entire paragraph essay rant on Facebook

Person's Facebook status: OMFG you know what I hate? Hipsters. Like who the hell are they to wear this big ass glasses. Like bitch you ain't blind that's degrading to blind people. Asshole. Show some respect. You know what else I hate? Asains...

Commenter 1: WTF dude I never thought you were racist
Commenter 2: Don't worry (Commenter 1), (Person) just plays the role of the Shawn while drunk

The Shawn by YOLOSWAGERTHATDIEDDUDE March 7, 2015

The Shawn Klein 

Da King

Whoa man what are u Shawn Klein

The Shawn Klein by Not Shawn Klein May 21, 2003

Shawn The Cat 

The best cat sock puppet in the world who just went through a divorce and is over his ex. He also has a youtube channel that is Shawn The Cat

"Shawn The Cat is way to good for Finn (his ex husband)"

Shawn The Cat by iamchimychonga June 13, 2019

Shawn of the Dead 

Hilarious british zomromcom about Shawn and his friends and mum trying to survive a zombie apocolypse

Why the fuck, years after Shawn of the Dead's release, am I the first one to write about this great movie?

Shawn of the Dead by Vito R October 21, 2008

The Shawnee Cleaver 

A cleaver with the Shawnee High School Logo on it rumored to be used to slice dicks off of graduated students as part of a secret but long held tradition. While shrouded in legend and mystery, the cleaver is said to be a 100% effective method of birth control.

“I’m so excited to have finally graduated, I’m gonna get sooo much pussy in college”

“You ain’t fooling anybody pal we all know you got your meat sliced off by The Shawnee Cleaver”

“Aw man…”

The Shawnee Cleaver by Luke Choadwalker February 24, 2025

The Shawnee Cleaver 

A cleaver with the Shawnee High School Logo on it rumored to be used to slice dicks off of graduated students as part of a secret but long held tradition. While shrouded in legend and mystery, the cleaver is said to be a 100% effective method of birth control.

“I’m so excited to have finally graduated, I’m gonna get sooo much pussy in college”

“You ain’t fooling anybody pal we all know you got your meat sliced off by The Shawnee Cleaver”

“Aw man…”

The Shawnee Cleaver by Luke Choadwalker February 24, 2025

The Shawnee Alien 

An infamous figure in Shawnee High School History, known for actively terrorizing students in the 2023-2024 school year. He is not special needs or anything he just feeds off of fear.

His crimes include:

- Waffle stomping
- Flashing people in the courtyard
- Naked splits in the locker room

- Bear crawling around the cafeteria
- Farting in people’s faces (“cup of soup”)
- Barking at people in the hallways
- Getting the wrestling team banned from the locker room
- Throwing out shit underwear in gym trash can
- Letting a dollar marinate in his ass crack then giving it to a freshman
- Walking in naked on the basketball team
- Running around locker room jacking it
- Parking lot fight where he k/o’d the other guy

List of objects The Shawnee Alien has shoved up his ass:
- Alien keychain
- Shaving cream bottles
- Any type of currency you can think of
- Rocks
- His brother’s toothbrush

- His fingers
- Fish pebbles
- A metal cube (stained afterwards)
- Bottles

The Shawnee Alien walked at graduation by some miracle and is somehow attending college as of Winter 2025

“I can’t wait to go into the locker room I’m sure my freshman wrestling season is gonna be great!”

“DUDE WAIT DON’T FUCKING GO IN THERE THE SHAWNEE ALIEN IS LURKING”

The Shawnee Alien by Luke Choadwalker March 4, 2025