Taser Taser Taser
When a dumbass cop, typically female, mistakes a taser for a FUCKING GUN and shoots the shit outta someone
Taser Taser Taser by DoopyBlerp April 22, 2021
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Taser
When someone digs their fingers (in a finger gun position with both the index and middle) into someone's side or back and moves them around to stimulate a tickling sensation VERY quickly.
As Sarah stretched her arms up in boredom in Geography, Jake took the opportunity to taser her in the side, causing her arms to shoot back down and protect her side.
Taser by <3ScaleCoiler<3 February 2, 2019
Related Words
taking a taser to a bomb site
Similar to taking a knife to a gun fight, but typically executed by a totally paranoid, uninformed idiot. Frankly, anyone with a brain would not take a knife to a gun fight; they just would not go to a gunfight.
Woody: where’s Herb?
Spencer: he got detained at security
Woody: detained at a Chargers game? Was he busted for smuggling booze?
Spencer: no, my dad is concerned about terrorists blowing up big crowds, so he always packs a taser that he bought off QVC
Woody: ah, taking a taser to a bomb site. What an idiot.
Spencer: he got detained at security
Woody: detained at a Chargers game? Was he busted for smuggling booze?
Spencer: no, my dad is concerned about terrorists blowing up big crowds, so he always packs a taser that he bought off QVC
Woody: ah, taking a taser to a bomb site. What an idiot.
taking a taser to a bomb site by the comand'r February 23, 2018
taser bomb
a cop prank. when cops pull up to talk to each other in there patrol cars they park side by side and one turns the taser on for its 5 second cycle, throws it in the other cops lap, and rolls up his window.
taser bomb by the jon law March 22, 2010
Taser Monkey
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
Taser Monkey by taserbrain February 12, 2010
Taser
A "Less than Lethal" weapon used to incapacitate a person without killing them. Generally used by police. Fires two barbed prongs up to twenty feet which then penetrate the skin and deliver an extremely painful shock causing the perosn to fall to loose control of their muscles, fall to the ground and do the crappie flop and sometimes piss themselves.
COP: Hey shitbag. You're under arrest, turn around and put your hands behind your back.
SHITBAG: Fuck you pig. You better call for back-up
COP: Takes out Taser and repeats his order.
SHITBAG: Fuck you:
COP: Shoots shitbag with Taser and laugh's while shitbag does the crappei flop on the ground.
SHITBAG: (After he regains control of his muscles) Rolls over and puts his hands behind his back to be handcuffed while complaining about how bad it hurt and he pissed himself.
COP: Laughs hysterically while handcuffing shitbag.
SHITBAG: Fuck you pig. You better call for back-up
COP: Takes out Taser and repeats his order.
SHITBAG: Fuck you:
COP: Shoots shitbag with Taser and laugh's while shitbag does the crappei flop on the ground.
SHITBAG: (After he regains control of his muscles) Rolls over and puts his hands behind his back to be handcuffed while complaining about how bad it hurt and he pissed himself.
COP: Laughs hysterically while handcuffing shitbag.
Taser by Shock Therapy April 28, 2005