A large British supermarket chain, notable for its incursion into almost every area of consumer products. Although the company's name is "Tesco" it is usually referred to in the possessive case "Tesco's". Often pronounced as "Tesquo" as well and thus as a contraction "The Squo".
Tesco employs the latest in mind-control technology and for this reason you will find it very difficult to spend less than around £30 there. No matter what you go in for, you will almost always spend a minimum of £30. How this is done remains a mystery.
Tesco prices are usally pretty cheap; this is due to their policy of selling products at less than they were bought for in order to underprice the competition. The long term aim is to destroy all other businesses in the area by outpricing them. Once this is achieved, and the only shop around is Tesco, then the prices go up. One day all shops will be Tesco, if this aim is achieved.
Tesco recently attempted to colonise America; this was done very secretly and quietly, to the extent that when questions were asked about what was being done with this warehouse and all this stock, they replied that they were making a movie about a supermarket!
Tesco opened 800 stores simultaneously in the US; they knew that US shoppers tend towards brand loyalty and they hoped that the sudden appearance of Tesco in many locations would persuade US shoppers that Tesco was an acceptable brand. Whether or not this strategy will succeed remains to be seen.
In short, Tesco is an evil empire; cheap prices now in order to achieve a monopoly later, mind control employed in stores to gain an average per-customer take of at least £30 per visit, and the aim of putting everyone else from small traders to supermarket competitors out of business.
Tesco employs the latest in mind-control technology and for this reason you will find it very difficult to spend less than around £30 there. No matter what you go in for, you will almost always spend a minimum of £30. How this is done remains a mystery.
Tesco prices are usally pretty cheap; this is due to their policy of selling products at less than they were bought for in order to underprice the competition. The long term aim is to destroy all other businesses in the area by outpricing them. Once this is achieved, and the only shop around is Tesco, then the prices go up. One day all shops will be Tesco, if this aim is achieved.
Tesco recently attempted to colonise America; this was done very secretly and quietly, to the extent that when questions were asked about what was being done with this warehouse and all this stock, they replied that they were making a movie about a supermarket!
Tesco opened 800 stores simultaneously in the US; they knew that US shoppers tend towards brand loyalty and they hoped that the sudden appearance of Tesco in many locations would persuade US shoppers that Tesco was an acceptable brand. Whether or not this strategy will succeed remains to be seen.
In short, Tesco is an evil empire; cheap prices now in order to achieve a monopoly later, mind control employed in stores to gain an average per-customer take of at least £30 per visit, and the aim of putting everyone else from small traders to supermarket competitors out of business.
by F. Alexander August 11, 2006
British supermarket chain that has recently shaken off its' pikey image. Spends a lot on advertising and is now the biggest chain in the UK.
by Gumba Gumba March 3, 2004
1. A popular and almost ubiquitous supermarket chain in Britain.
2. A form of dance music influenced by both Techno and Disco. The name is a portmanteau of these two names (Techno + Disco = Tesco)
2. A form of dance music influenced by both Techno and Disco. The name is a portmanteau of these two names (Techno + Disco = Tesco)
by Necroyeti December 24, 2006
the uk's premiere breeding ground for inbreds. it is disguised as a supermarket but don't let that fool you, try talking to the staff!
"excuse me, where is the fresh pasta please?"
"huh huh ummm yeah. me get supervisor (cousin, dad and sister all rolled into one). huh huh"
"huh huh ummm yeah. me get supervisor (cousin, dad and sister all rolled into one). huh huh"
by stix February 25, 2005
Pretty much the greatest shop in the world.
It is visited each week on a Tuesday by a motley crew of vagabonds and James Morgan where they persue the pinnacle in wheat-based products.
Keir has a bit of a thing for ciabatta.
It is visited each week on a Tuesday by a motley crew of vagabonds and James Morgan where they persue the pinnacle in wheat-based products.
Keir has a bit of a thing for ciabatta.
by morgangills November 9, 2004
Useless object that someone has bought, you then say to them that it is tesco's. Also referred to anyone with bad internet connection or moble network.
by Steptothehen May 19, 2010
by pro-nun-see-A-shun July 7, 2003