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1.A god like person that is infinitely more cunning than an engineer but unlike engineers actually have devoloped the socal skills of an 'A' list celib.

2.A typical Surveyor uses all manner of cool robotic instruments, laser scanners, eletronic measuring devices, high end computer programs and a beat up old 4WD.

3. A Typical Surveyor is better than a 'mans best friend' makes females go weak at the knees and wet at the crotch just by being in their presence and still has time to go to the pub after work.

4. Famous Surveyors in history are GOD, McGuyver, Mr T, Chuck Norris, The Loch Ness Monster, Einstein, JFK, Malcom X, Snoopy, James Bond, all Ninjas, Mr Miyagi, Thomas Eddison, The Hoff.

5. The average surveyor is able to bring the real world into the office of the timid cartographer by all manner of observations and exact measurements and can easily take the rambling designs of a fat-arsed but exciteable engineer and put them into the real world (or not, if they are complete shit).

6. The Surveyor is often the target for the jealousy of others due to feelings of inadequacy (usually in the pants). Due to this Surveyors will often work in teams, where each will watch the other's back like a highly trained quasi-military unit. In this case the term "Team Survey" can be applied.
The Surveyors surveyed that (whatever object you want) and made a 3D digital image of it. Thanks Survey!!
by markhasdrunken March 22, 2007
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Surveyors are supposed to be reasonably intelligent people capable of using equipment to gather survey data (elevation, coordinates, etc.) for a specified area. In reality, they're the idiots who couldn't pass their engineering classes but didn't want to be English majors. They can take the most advanced surveying equipment that uses data from up to a dozen satellites at once and somehow can still end up with data that is 20 feet off and 100 feet below sea level. Also cannot tell the difference between a fire hydrant and a sidewalk or a building and a chain-link fence when it comes time to label their borderline unusable data. They, along with architects, are the bane of every civil engineer and CAD drafter's existence.

See also: Idiot, Moron, Fucktard
Engineer: Did the surveyor give us any useful data this time?

Drafter: What do you think?

Engineer: Figures...
by bitter engineer January 04, 2018
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He/she who surveys and quantifies materials and labor on civil engineering and construction contracts.
Usually with no actual knowledge of engineering or construction practices.
Known to have poor numerical skills.
Can turn a $100 job into a $100000 without explanation.
Never ask a surveyor to explain figures, go study quantum physics, its easier to understand.
Often aggressive individuals.
by AndyB368 March 22, 2007
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