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A large string instrument which plays very low tones and is, colloquially put, a bitch to carry around. The bass players have one of the hardest jobs in an orchestra, because they must keep a steady beat (to prevent the violins from speeding up or slowing down), but they must also change their tempo if the violins ignore their beat. The strings are usually tuned E, A, D, and G, in ascending order.
Sam: "Do I get to park in a handicapped parking spot because I have to carry a bass around?"

David: "No."

Sam: "Well, I should."

David: "Yeah. It's hard work, but playing string bass is awesome."

Sam: "Indeed."
by therealrustyspork October 08, 2009
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The best and most glorious of the instruments, although ridiculously large and loud. The strings are E, A, D, and G, also known as Death, Ok, Nice, and Good. The bassist's job is to act as a metronome (and to keep the violins from rushing). Be nice to them, they try their best.
Person A: Hey, I just started playing the string bass!

Person B: Good choice. It's totally the best instrument.
by word child March 11, 2017
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