Imaginary shanty town in Scotland just 8 miles south of South Lanarkshire Council's anus, East Kilbride. There is rumour of running water and decent housing for the citizens, but no 'normal' people have bothered to go and investigate. The people have an average IQ of 1.6 and are somewhat
intimidating, with a high level of
testosterone and aggression. On the streets of Strathaven, there is a high possibility of being stabbed in some way, but usually threats through
social networks and phone calls come as a pre-warning. The town has a group of anti-social yobs , with
approximately two members, aptly named by other villages, the 'Strathaven Young Team.' This said team is ruled by who people have named The Bull, out of encountering this vilified character. The Cow, who is The Bulls
underling, is also recognised as a fearful icon.
Advice to anyone willing to travel to Strathaven:
- Do not wear red.
- Do not use words longer than 4 letters, or the local residents will undertake confusion.
- Do not bring any object that is younger than 20 years old, or this will also cause confusion.
- In all honesty, do not go at all unless you want to be bludgeoned by an unintelligent being.
- If you are willing to purchase any items in the area, the currency used locally is Monopoly Money.
- If you are willing to go to Hell early and not risk a merciless death, just dig a few metres in the centre of the town. You'll find it.
Example 1
Person 1: Hey man, you want to go down to Strathaven later?
Person 2: Strathaven?! Holy Christ, are you
feeling alright?
Person 1: Oh yeah, I heard it was forgotten by God..
Example 2Person 3: Woohoo we're all going down to Strathaven later!
Person 4: I went to Strathaven once, how do you think I look
like this?
Person 3: Holy shit on a cracker! That's naaasty! I think we'll pass on that trip to Strathaven!
Person 4: Damn right.
