Literally no one's ever used this in a sexual connotation.
It was used in the movie 'Disturbia' where a scene appeared to invoke some kind of sexual tension moment when the killer says "someone as intelligent and attractive as you doesn't need to be wasting her time stoking the fire" while appearing charming and dark at the same time.
You can find the exact scene by searching "Disturbia (6/9) movie clip" in youtube.
What he was actually implying is that she doesn't need to piss him off when all he wants is privacy.
How this was misinterpreted is beyond me. Stoking the fire means to agitate the embers of a fire to keep it burning when it's almost out. Agitate being the keyword.
Q: What are you doing with that stick?
A: Stoking the fire, it's almostdead
A: I know your car got stolen but I accidentally ran over your cat
B: You're just stoking the fire now...
West Midlands slang word for rockers, bikers, greasers etc. In the late 1980s it was used by the UK music press to refer to a specific scene centered around the bands Pop Will Eat Itself and Crazyhead. The term never found favour with readers of 'the inkies' (Sounds, Melody Maker and the still extant NME) and was soon dropped. Now often used in predominantly working-class areas of the midlands and the north to mean someone who listens to rock-derived music and/or dresses in a manner that suggests they affiliate themselves with rock music of some kind.
Some grebo passed with Sabbath playing on his stereo.
The Poppies are at no. 17? God, a grebo band in the charts!
They're playing nu-metal now, bloody grebos!