Sparkle Pig 

Any overweight hoochie with the air of being high maintenance although there's never a man in the equation. Typically favors Louie Vuitton, Gucci etc. in any form of knock off. Can be spotted by the tell tale glitter and perfume residue often for the purpose of masking hygienic negligence.

The sparkle pig in the cubicle next to me talks non-stop to her girlfriend about what a dog girlfriend's man is but the only men in her life are Ben & Jerry.

Sparkle Pig by seanomatopeoia February 21, 2009

sparklepire 

Any one of the idiotic "vampires" of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. In her clumsily written stories, instead of bursting into flames in sunlight, the vampires just shimmer and sparkle. How retarded is that?

"Anne Rice?? Who's that? I won't read any books that don't have sparklepires in it!!!1 Also, I'm illiterate."

sparklepire by TabbyStrayer December 19, 2008

Sparklepire 

Noun- 1. A wussified imitation of a vampire who has a strong liking for The Cure and melodramatic moping. They are characterized by refusal to drink human blood, being emotional pansies, being whiny and flighty and despite being ancient have the intelectual capacity and emotional makeup of a 12 year old girl. Most notably instead of doing something cool and dramatic like bursting into flames or turning to ash in sunlight they sparkle. More closely related to Faeries and ButtPixies than vampires.

2. any emo Edward Cullen wannabe surburbanite who tries to pull off the "angsty goth" look with clothes they bought at target.

1. "I know what you are. you're a-"
"Say it"
"you're a.. sparklepire
2. "Omg did you see that guy with all the makeup sitting by himself in the corner?"
"I know. Total sparklepire."

Sparklepire by omgWhatABilf February 3, 2010