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snake beater 

One who uses stealth and evasion (like Solid Snake in the MGS series) while masturbating in a place that would not be a good place to be caught masturbating.
Young Tim: When I was a kid I used to sneak into my older brother's room, swipe his playboy magazine and hide in the closet while Solid Snake Beating.

Adult Tim: Late at night when my wife is sound sleep, I sneak down the hall into the den where my porn stash is to beat off in secrecy. I'm still a Snake Beater.
snake beater by FloorBageo May 16, 2014

Snake Beater 

Someone who, for some reason, likes to call their friends while in a locker, masturbating to pictures of Japanese models.
ā€œI’m still in a dream, Snake Beater!ā€
Snake Beater by Icommidtie8756 November 27, 2023

Snakebearer 

(noun)

1. One who wields a great serpent. See Danny

2. A magical golden brick with mystical telecommunal abilities
I possess a grand serpent. You will address me as Snakebearer, and you will like it.