Project Manager 

Somone who uses endless buzz words and centres their existance around a load of paperwork, meetings, conference calls and turning every task, no matter how small, into an epic display of verbal and written diarrhea. Jobs that once needed a sensible tradeperson or two, now need to be a project with a project manager. They sit between the workers and management and are very good at being on the side of whoever they are talking to and ensuring that they are never in the same room as both workers and management. Commanding huge amounts of money, they are gifted in prolonging everything.

"I think we need to change the tap washer in the toilet because its leaking but there may be some issue with finding the stop tap and if too much torque is applied we could snap the fitting and all get drowned. Better get a bank loan to employ a Project Manager to make sure that doesn't happen"

Project Manager by Projectman December 18, 2011

Project Manager 

A job used by people who are often unemployed. They don't exactly know what their role is and are usually self employed contractors that do jobs or gigs to make a living.

"Hey, I heard you started dating John, what does he do for a living?"

"He told me he was a project manager"

Project Manager by CherryCokee November 3, 2021

Project Manager 

A job role. The role is to ensure project is delivered on time, By on time, this means in half the time that is needed to complete all tasks and with half the necessary staff. This role is highly sought after by people that love using meaningless buzz words to hide the fact that don't understand any words said to them in meetings. They will often been seen looking dazed and confused at their computers after spending 9 hours sending meeting requests, rescheduling meetings, going to meetings, holding "catch ups" after meetings in which you need to explain to them what happened in the last meeting and stalking you when your not in meetings with them. They think all other staff are magicians and can't understand why the status update has not changed from yesterday because they forgot you were in meetings with them all day. They live in an imaginary world where they think they understand concepts are likeable by many and think everyone has shit phones because no one answers their calls. Generally they are the root cause of all mental health issues 8n the modern workplace and will go their entire working career oblivious to the fact everyone thinks they are giant cuntasauruses.

"who moved that date forward 4 weeks?"..."the project manager said you could still get it done"..."FFS, I need a mental health day"

Project Manager by Ninjaella September 12, 2018

Project Manager 

Someone who creates memes and doesn't work.

The project manager created great content today. His memes were on point.

Project Manager by WoahWoah1432 July 28, 2022

Project Manager 

Creates memes all day

The project manager created some great content today. Everyone loved the memes he made.

Project Manager by WoahWoah1432 July 28, 2022

Schrodinger's Project Manager 

A workplace phenomenon where resources assigned to a project are simultaneously worthless and invaluable, where the act of interacting with the project manager forces a classification.

"I know it's not something we normally do, and I know you're not responsible for it, however can you perform this backlog of clerical tasks?"

"I just don't have enough resources allocated to my team, I'm missing my deliverables and I'll need more of your time"

Person 1: "I can't believe our PM made us attend that four hour meeting... We told them we didn't have anything to contribute, and they're telling me they need my pull request in by tomorrow because the project is behind"
Person 2:"Yup, Schrodinger's Project Manager"

Schrodinger's Project Manager by Bob Costas' Gym Teacher July 1, 2020

Give the project manager their head 

allow them to do what they want to do, without trying to advise or stop them; to allow them to do what they want without interference, advice, or direction

After weeks of meticulous planning and preparation, the team leader decided to just give the project manager their head and see what innovative solutions emerged.

Give the project manager their head by Arminkshipper April 18, 2025