A professional dumbass is a person who does something stupid so well they aren't able to suffer any consequences.
An example of a professionaldumbass:
Alix ran into battle without any weapon, once he released he had no weapon he proposed to the general. He is now a married man.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'