Professional Bitch Slapper
A male or female, who has an estraordinary ability to continually dish out high quality bitch-slappings. By bitch slappings it refers to not slapping a bitch (though they can do that), it refers to slapping one in one or more of the follwing manners: bitch-like (as in performed in the manner that a "bitch" would do it), bitchy (as in hurts like a bitch), or even bitchin' (as in sweet or kickass).
A professional bitch slapper hires out his gift from god so he can help the world... and make some bucks. They can be hired out generally in increments of five slaps or more at a time, at varying slap power amounts (from the lowest strength style: "sissified", to the infamous style known only as the "ancient mongolian bitchslap of eternal suffering"). Bitchslappers don't have a tight booked schedule, as having one generally discourages customers from calling on the fly and making impulse payments. Instead, they have multiple clones, on average each bitchslapper has 4 clones or so working for him at any given time.
A professional bitch slapper can be hired:
*Because somebody ticked you off.
*Because a profanity was said.
*Because somebody did something stupid.
*Because you just don't like the way someone looked at you.
*As a birthday present to family and friends.
*To show who's the boss around here.
*Slapping Fetish.
*Because you wish to atone for your sins by having yourself brutally bitch-slapped.
*Just because you damn well feel like hiring one.
No matter which way you look at in, the historical, revered craft of bitch-slapping is a wonderful thing to behold. In fact, in Spanish, the same word is used for "Professional Bitch Slapping" and "Advancement of Civilization". In fact, amazing innovations in bitch-slapping style, technique, form, and use for exploding things is growing every second. Across the world, the Professional Bitch Slappers institution (Which even has it's own TV channel, known as PBS) is making the world a better place to order a bitch slap, bitch slap another, or just get bitch slapped in. Professional Bitch Slapping, and the Attractive Asswhooping Association, are both two wonderfully exciting things, jump on the bandwagon as soon as you can, because this is no fad, it is a almost-religious practice bound to outlast humanity itself!
A professional bitch slapper hires out his gift from god so he can help the world... and make some bucks. They can be hired out generally in increments of five slaps or more at a time, at varying slap power amounts (from the lowest strength style: "sissified", to the infamous style known only as the "ancient mongolian bitchslap of eternal suffering"). Bitchslappers don't have a tight booked schedule, as having one generally discourages customers from calling on the fly and making impulse payments. Instead, they have multiple clones, on average each bitchslapper has 4 clones or so working for him at any given time.
A professional bitch slapper can be hired:
*Because somebody ticked you off.
*Because a profanity was said.
*Because somebody did something stupid.
*Because you just don't like the way someone looked at you.
*As a birthday present to family and friends.
*To show who's the boss around here.
*Slapping Fetish.
*Because you wish to atone for your sins by having yourself brutally bitch-slapped.
*Just because you damn well feel like hiring one.
No matter which way you look at in, the historical, revered craft of bitch-slapping is a wonderful thing to behold. In fact, in Spanish, the same word is used for "Professional Bitch Slapping" and "Advancement of Civilization". In fact, amazing innovations in bitch-slapping style, technique, form, and use for exploding things is growing every second. Across the world, the Professional Bitch Slappers institution (Which even has it's own TV channel, known as PBS) is making the world a better place to order a bitch slap, bitch slap another, or just get bitch slapped in. Professional Bitch Slapping, and the Attractive Asswhooping Association, are both two wonderfully exciting things, jump on the bandwagon as soon as you can, because this is no fad, it is a almost-religious practice bound to outlast humanity itself!
Professional Bitch Slapper by Darryn Goldsworth, Pimp Extraordinaire October 19, 2004
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