Paul Blart

Derogatory term referring to mall security staff, and on a larger scale, any security guard that doesn't have the authority to issue arrests or carry firearms (see rent-a-cop).

"Hey Paul Blart! I just pissed in the wishing well! What are you gonna do about it?"
"There's a couple Paul Blarts in the food court telling those kids to calm down, but the kids are telling them to fuck off."

Paul Blart by BfloDrumDude June 22, 2012

Paul blart

The act of being a fatass working as security in a small mall in New England and being murder from dank faze clan

My brother was Paul blarting then he died

Paul blart by BlueGrass420 May 14, 2015

Paul Blart

A variation on the blumpkin wherein a man performs oral sex on a woman while she is sitting on a toilet taking a shit.

"Why does Roger seem so down today?"
"Well, I guess last night Sheryl asked him to give her a Paul Blart."
"Dude, that's disgusting... did he actually do it?"
"Yeah, he really does love her... I guess afterwards he threw up in the sink. He says he can't get the smell out of his mind... it's haunting him."

Paul Blart by Simplicius April 15, 2009

Paul Blart

Originally from southern Ontario. It's when you pop a bar, take a shot and then hit a fat popper.

"Yo Paul Blarts this weekend?"
"I did a Paul Blart last night it was fucked"

Paul Blart by Untitled_07 November 16, 2016

Paul Blart

A bloody-fart (blood+fart=blart) that happens when you do a line of cocaine. Also known as "mall copping"

This blow is good, I just about Paul Blarted myself.

Paul Blart by negro jesus christos February 22, 2010

Paul Blart

Paul Blart is my hero, he is so handsome and cool. I wana be like him when i grow up.

me: paul blart
you: my idol

Paul Blart by pussytooth June 4, 2021

paul blart

A sexy fat ass who's only method of transportation is through segway. Usually seen roaming the halls of a local mall, paul blarts are a rare and majestic species that can be distinguished by their large moustaches and bodacious bods

Scientist: Oh my god is that a paul blart? I just creamed my pants!

paul blart by funky kong 411 October 17, 2019