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shit or get off the toilet 

When someone is wasting you time so you tell them to make it happen or go away.
Example: a guy keeps postponing/rearranging date plans so you say; "Dave, you're messing me around. Either shit or get off the toilet!"

eat the meat off the toilet seat 

when you stop at a weigh side drunk and hungry you stumble into a pissy stall and find a tasty morsel on the toilet seat that satisfies your hunger
Yo Howard! Yesterday after those jello shots I went to the park shitter and passed out, I came to so hungry that I went to the bathroom to eat the meat off the toilet seat!

We're off to see the toilet 

A take on the brief jingle, "We're off to see the wizard" from the movie, "The Wizard of Oz".
Sung when you're on your way to the bathroom to take a plop (leave a shit, go poo-poo, lay a log, etc.)
♪ We're off to see the toilet, ♪
♪ The wonderful toliet bowl! ♪

Note the spelling of the word toilet in the second verse; it is pronounced, "toa LYE'it" in order for it to have three syllables.

Normally occurs at the tail-end of an upset-stomach deuce. When you fire off a bunch of quick-hitting farts, in a firecracker pattern, with no substance or stink with the sound being amplified by the toilet bowl. 

Normally occurs at the tail-end of an upset-stomach deuce. When you fire off a bunch of quick-hitting farts, in a firecracker pattern, with no substance or stink with the sound being amplified by the toilet bowl. which is a good messgae