Measles 

The frequently deadly disease that anti-vaxxers are willing to expose their children to out of an unfounded fear of autism. Can cause blindness, sterility, heart damage and life long complications, but hey, its better dead than slightly non-neurotypical.

See also whooping cough.

"Madison and Skyler have the measles, why don't you bring your kids over and get it over with! Better hurry though, Skyler's starting to smell pretty bad and has been sleeping for three days. Guess those MMS enemas are really helping him detox!"

Measles by KimmieKoi October 24, 2018

measles 

fuckin measles

person 1: measles
person 2: omg

measles by foolmanchu69 July 28, 2022

Measles covered blanket 

When an English girl shits on your chest and brings you bean toast in bed

I gave johnathan a mean measles covered blanket this morning before I left for work.

Measles covered blanket by FBS69 January 6, 2022

Pubic Measles 

Contagious disease of the lower pubic regions first discovered in Glenjamin Willybobble
Cause:
Chronic insane anal pounding – with various kitchen utilities (most frequently a whisk inside a blender)
Being from Blackpool and surrounding areas
Bending over in Cemetery Junction Public Toilets with loose morals
Symptoms include:
Irrational and sustained itching of the scrotum and meatus
Constant need for sexual relief – usually resulting in chronic masturbation until pustules burst
Disgusting groinal aroma followed by an inability to follow conversation and stating the obvious and implied

Glen was happy until his crotch fell off - and sniffed that he had pubic measles
Mike was worried and horny and slightly hungry but mostly tired, so he went home

Pubic Measles by Sid Johnson February 5, 2009

Cupids Measles 

The blemishes that are commonly known as coldsores or herpes simplex 1.

~I made out with what's her face and got a case of "Cupids measles"!

~Huh?
~you know, a whore blossom!
~A WHAT?
~I GOT A FUCKIN' COLDSORE! ALL RIGHT?

Cupids Measles by Hughdanger March 13, 2011

Cock Measles 

A general term for sexually transmitted diseases affecting the male genitalia.

After a short round with a dirty bird, Billy got a bad case of the cock measles.

Cock Measles by Stu Steg April 24, 2019

Weiner Measles 

The generic, nondescript term for any of a host of venereal diseases (STD's), especially those which cause some sort of eruption on the penis.

James: I would stay away from her. She's hot and all, but...

Bill: But what?

James: You'll probably end up with a scorching case of weiner measles.

Weiner Measles by JoeFriday July 20, 2009