Put a banana in a sock, mash it up and put it in microwave for 20seconds. When done put it over your penis and start masturbating.
(20 secs only so you dont burn your knob)
This happens to women When they pee inconsistently. The labia gets bunched up and blocks or partially blocks the stream of pee and causes misdirection.
Marti went to the bathroom but she was all mushed up and peed all over herself .
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
The hypothetical man (often a sinistercharacter who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.