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The Personification of Terminal Rectal Cancer and Ramen. He knows where to lick the poosay ;). They say he's addicted to snorting salt and Ramen flavoring. His name is also the term for; "Cooking ramen with Cyanide and Cocaine while fingering your butthole and jerking of your smeg into the mix." They say he's a major fattyphobe. He's also a member of the Klu Klux Klan and the most notorious memeber with over 300 confirmed kills. He was trained in gorilla warfare and an kill you in 700 different ways, thats just with his bare hands. He sexually Identifies an Attack Helicopter. Ever since he was a young he dreamed of dropping hot stick loads on disgusting foreigners.
"He really pulled a Kessler on that ramen. WOW!"

"Ever studied of Kessler?"

"I have a blessing from Kessler, it's terminal rectal cancer!"
by mmmmfoodmfdoom676 May 17, 2016
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2
The act of using excessive amounts of effects in photoshop when editing photos.
i.e. At least 80% of the picture is obscured by after-effects.
He totally Kesslered that picture.

He pulled a Kessler on that one!

You're Kesslering that picture, man.
by mrgoofball November 10, 2012
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3
Kessler is a guy who is perfect in every way hes amazing funny and great to be around. He's super handsome and turns everyones head.
"Damn I bet he is a kessler "
by Aj7722 June 01, 2017
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4
A reference to a driver who insists on driving at speeds significantly less than the speed limit, usually in a box-shaped car.
"Speed it up, you're driving like a Kessler!"
by Angry Driver March 15, 2008
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5
The unexplainable particles in human feces
Dude I don’t know what was in those burritos, but you should have seen the kesslers in my poo.
by PooPoo324 December 03, 2008
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6
To purchase large quantities of local, craft beer for the sole purpose of reselling (muling), usually to markets where that beer is unobtainable or is only available in extremely limited quantities. It may also refer to someone willing to forego paying monthly debts using that money instead on the purchasing of large quantities of beer for trading, muling, or personal consumption.
That beer was kesslered so fast by the time I got off work all of it was sold out!
by certainlynotahealey February 20, 2014
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7
Legendary last name that only a real “G” would have.
guy 1: who’s that smoke?

guy 2: that’s a Kessler.

guy 1: that explains it all.
by funny jokesss June 13, 2018
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