a hairy homeless midget who never showers. It lives under bridges, it's diet consists of toothpaste & waffles. Very vicious and does not make a good pet.
Girl: I had a pet Jared once, i had to get rid of it though.
Boy: Why?
Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me.
Boy: You poor thing...
Boy: Why?
Girl: It smelled horrible and ate all my toothpaste. Then it tried to bite me.
Boy: You poor thing...
by A Very Amazing Person. (: December 19, 2010
The biggest Bitch the world has ever Known. He is a douchbage who loves licking big sweaty balles and sucks monkey cocks at the zoo.
by Erick decker February 27, 2018
Wow, that Jared completely ruined the party.
No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared
Bald Headed FUCK!
No, I couldn't have fun last night, i was with a Jared
Bald Headed FUCK!
by buttsexman1234 February 5, 2010
To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.
Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.
Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.
"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.
You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?
You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?
by RobinAmerica July 7, 2009
The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a gooch, which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.
by The Jared December 26, 2008
(n.) A generally creepy stalker like person that emits a totally freakish vibe and makes you wanna run away. On knows when they are a jared when they have a creepy rapist voice, randomly show up behind people, or freak out unknowing teenage girls.
by Hair-product lover June 3, 2009
by jed kenney March 26, 2008