a super homo known for raping children and shoving a whopping 15 incher inside is urethra. also he likes to choose his victims at churches because the younger they are, the better they feel. also his celebrity crush is James charles and he liked jeffrey epstein.
by jónisverygay August 31, 2020
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A Jon is no ordinary man (and we all know men are but flat-chested women who do not menstruate - although scholars still hotly debate if Jons do).

A guy is only a Jon if he satisfies ALL three of the following criteria.

1. Believes he be better than everyone else.

Eg: (Guy wearing a "I be so much better than you" t-shirt walks by)

Wizened old observer: "Kids these days are such Jons!"
2. Possesses a peculiar penchant for shattering glassware.

Eg: (A drinking establishment - that sells alcohols) *sound of shattering glass*

Weary bartender (who serves alcohols): *sigh* "Guess we have another Jon here today".
3. Has a thing for seagulls (optionally runs a seagull worship cult)

Person1: (Stares adoringly at a seagull that flies by overhead)

"Is there anything more musical than a seagull's cry?"

Person2: (looks worried)

"... I know your name is Jon, but I didn't think you'd be such a 'JON' Jon, y'know?"
Person1: My boss is such a Jon!
Person2: Oh no! I had one of those. Do NOT take any glassware there and best try to put up with his delusions of grandeur. I just hope you don't get pulled into any seagull cults.
by LordessStemora December 01, 2020
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Jon is a good friend and can make you laugh very easily. He mimicks you in a jokingly way and stares at you with a smile in his eyes. He may seem like the shy type, but once you get to know him he gets talkative. His hair is dark, and he can focus very well. He's smart and thinks he isn't, but you know he is. He has perfect grades and gets upset when he gets a B or lower. He's super loyal, and honest too. He's a super nice kid. Don't let him go.
"Jon is so smart."
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Jon is a black guy inside a white person and is addicted to sports, and all he will talk about his girlfriend.
by Sandman09 March 22, 2020
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A man who everyone loves! He will always be there for you. Sometimes sensitive, but loves to make people laugh. Always will be better than a Dale
by CoolGuyJonHere February 22, 2019
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Jon is an amazing guy. He is always sure to make you smile.
Jon’s are usually found making bad puns and lame jokes.

Despite the jokes being lame he will never fail to make you laugh.
Person 1: omg you should’ve heard what Jon said
Person 2: was it a bad joke?
Person 1: yeah but he still makes me laugh he’s the best
by Ladiesandgentlemanwegottem December 04, 2019
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The Word Jon pronounced Jon is typically a gay man that is sexually attracted to obese hairy women and will never succeed in life.
Oh look it’s Jon wacking his dick to lizzo
by JonIsGay69 December 03, 2020
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