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my internet connection 

My internet connection is trash

Slow internet connection 

The worst fucking thing to happen when you're already having a bad day. When pages and games stop loading well. It's our router's way of saying "fuck you".
Hi...
Slow internet connection intensifies

my internet connection 

has same durability as minecraft gold axe
what do you mean my internet connection is DiScOnNeCtEd

mcdonald's internet connection 

When your playing an online game and your internet connection is so laggy that you have no control of your game.
Tim got that McDonald's internet connection, no wander his K/D's so bad

Slow Internet Connection 

Any page that takes longer than 5 seconds to load.
5 seconds: Damn it this page isnt loading! *Shut Down* Now you show up! Stupid Slow Internet Connection.

Slow internet connection 

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error_timedoutconnection
Me: this fuckin slow internet connection is a piece of shit. fuck this slow ass shit.