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I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers 

A woman who meets an attractiveness threshold above which you would easily forgive minor transgressions such as eating crackers and leaving the inevitable crumbs in your bed.

The British version "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting", while similar in spirit, lacks some of the subtlety of this version.
Lindsay Lohan might have a little nose candy problem, but still, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
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I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers 

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