High School Football Player

The high school football player is the epitome of awesomeness and swag all bottled into 1 walking shit for brains toolbag. In the high school food chain the football player is a cut above the rest when it comes to everything including raw athleticism, obvious swagger and straight-up toughness resulting in aquiring an abundance of girls who, by the laws of high school, are required to be with them. On the rare occurrance that said football player were team captain it emphasizes the previously stated attributes by nearly infinite. El Capitano is very aware of all of this and flaunts it harder than a $2 hooker on a saturday night at the club. Whether it is flooding social networking sites with pointless updates, wearing his jersey in a way similar to the way an SS officer wore his in the 1940s, and showing public displays of affection to his girl who really deserves someone much better, lets say for example the funny, sarcastic, intelligent, socially awkward, down-to-earth, alternate captain of the high school hockey team, who really understands her, the captain is a complete fuckface. But instead she is blinded by the astounding amount of toughness and idiocracy that he has to display to keep his high school reputation intact. However little does our self-centered wanna-be leader know that once he graduates high school he will count for nothing in society, most likely pump gas for a living, and can only think back on what a total dick and waste of life he was at 18 years old.

The high school footbal player runs his school.
Dude that high school football player is a complete fuck.

High School Football Player by the_next_big_thing October 26, 2011