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Hagrids Law 

When you attempt to enter a committed relationship, all possible attractive people will come out of hiding and tease you with their attractiveness. This is a test of your endurance and ability to stick with that special one.
My gawd where are all these hotties coming from? DAMN YOU HAGRIDS LAW!!!!
Hagrids Law by B-dizzay April 29, 2011

A Gang of Hagrids

A gathering of tough looking motorcycle riders who travel with pets.
We drove past a gang of Hagrids. They all had tiny dogs in carriers on their motorcycles.

n00beus Hagrid 

Rubeus Hagrid's n00bish brother who spends his days cultiv8ing pygmy squirrels at his est8 up in h0mie n00bia to exhibit at pygmy squirrel exhibitions. Expert in shanter.
Rubeus Hagrid: heyyo n00beus Hagrid wot've ye up to l8ly?
n00beus hagrid: you know, you know, just cultiv8ing some homie pygmy squirrels
Rubeus Hagrid: n0000000000b that is some shanter

The Instant Hagrid 

Applying superglue to your face before going down on some hairy gash, once removed there lie a glorious beard.
She had such poor personal upkeep that I gave her The Instant Hagrid

I was so appreciative that she didn't shave, because I could achieve The Instant Hagrid

Raped by Hagrid 

When one has such a huge shit it feels like you've just had anal sex with Hagrid for four hours straight.
Sam: Oi Cameron I got Raped by Hagrid yesterday.
Cameron: Damn how long have you held that one in?
Raped by Hagrid by headbanger-69 February 8, 2015