Skip to main content

Gainesville defibrillator 

A technique used by the indigenous peoples of central Florida, especially the Gainesville area, to restart the heart. This is accomplished by wearing jorts and mesh tank top and sticking a finger in the anus of the afflicted.
After a particularly intense three days eating raccoon jerky and masturbating to Richard Simmons VHS tapes Johnny had a heart attack. Thankfully Mike was there to save him with a well timed Gainesville defibrillator.
Gainesville defibrillator mug front
Get the Gainesville defibrillator mug.
See more merch