funny joke

How do you keep four blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down. That's pretty funny.

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Son: Dad, everyone in my class is talking about vaginas, but I don't get it. What do they look like?

Dad: Well son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose.

Son: So what does it look like after sex?

Dad: Hmm...Lemme put it this way...have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonaise?

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A husband said to his wife, "Honey, can I take a picture of your breasts so I can see them whenever I want?" And the wife replied, "Yeah, sure. But then I get to take a picture of your shlong so I can get it enlarged."

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*NEWSFLASH* Snow White was chucked out of Disney World. She reportedly pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and said, "LIE BASTARD, LIE"

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So a guy is walking down the street and he sees a sign outside a bar that says, "Pianist Wanted." The guy goes into the bar and says, "Hi, I saw the sign outside your bar." The owner says, "Oh yes. Can you play piano?" The guy says, "Well, I haven't played in a few years, but I used to be quite good at it." The owner gestures to a piano in the corner and says, "Show me what you can do." The guy goes over and starts to play the most beautiful piece that the bar owner has ever heard. When he's finished the owner says, "That was so amazing. What is it called?" The guy says, "Oh, it's called Your Mom Is A Big Fat Slut. I wrote it myself." The owner is a little weirded out, but says, "Okay, whatever. What else can you play?" The guy begins to play another song. This one is even more beautiful than the other one, and by the end the owner feels his eyes tearing. He says, "That is so impressive." The guy says, "Thank you. It's called Your Sister Slept With The Football Team. I wrote it myself" After a bit of thinking, the owner says, "Well, you get the job. Come around tonight, and just do your thing. People will request songs, but you just have to remember NOT to tell them the title of the song."

So the guy goes home, and at 8pm, he dons his old tux. However, because he hasn't worn it in a while, and he's gained some weight over the years, he can only fit into it if he isn't wearing underwear. But no matter, he goes to the bar.

While he's walking there, he realizes that he dropped his money, so he bends down to pick it up. What he doesn't realize though, is that when he bends over, his pants split open.

So now he's in the bar, and everyone loves his piano skills. Then some chick comes up to him and says, "Hey guy, do you know your fat hairy balls are showing?" The guy looks up and smiles proudly, saying, "Oh yes! I wrote it myself!"

funny jokes are something that someone tells and everyone else pretends to laugh at.

by Tinkerbelll May 21, 2004

funny joke

something my dad doesnt know the meaning of. maybe he should look on urban dictionary

thats so not funny

by enedoj May 30, 2004

funny joke

see prank

by Wodie Measter July 12, 2002

CFJ - Cool Funny Joke

"CFJ" or "Cool Funny Joke" basically refers to when a dumb ass broad is talking and your boyfriend cut that bitch off, and she mad because she can't vent.

Dumb ass broad: Wow, aren't I just the best girl ever?

Bf: What about my girl?

Dumb ass broad: That's cute, that's funny, that's a joke. That's "CFJ - Cool Funny Joke."

by Yashirim June 12, 2024

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

Park the car at the side of the road
You should know
Time's tide will smother you
And I will too
When you laugh about people who feel so
Very lonely
Their only desire is to die
Well, I'm afraid
It doesn't make me smile
I wish I could laugh
… But that joke isn't funny anymore
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
More than you'll ever know ...
… Kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
You kick them when they fall down
Kick them when they fall down
… It was dark as I drove the point home
And on cold leather seats
Well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my
Face after all
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
And now it's happening in mine
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
And now it's happening in mine
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives

And now it's happening in mine
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
And now it's happening in mine
Oh ...
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
Oh ...
And now it's happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
Oh...
And now, now, now it's happening in mine
(I've seen this happen)
Happening in mine
Oh...now, now
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
Oh...
And now it's happening in mine
(Happen)
Happening in mine
Oh...
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
Happening in mine
… I've seen this happen in other people's
Lives
Oh...
And now, now, now it's happening in mine
Happening in mine
Mine, mine
Happening in mine

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

by Death Menace February 22, 2023

it's funny, you know...cuz it's a joke

A phrase used after making an unsuccesful joke to make the people who heard it feel like they missed something.

Bob: "Chuck Mangione is awesome!"
Bill: "That's what she said!"
Bob: ?
Bill: It's funny, you know...cuz it's a joke.

by Tedmund13 May 29, 2009

Funny Jokes

Jokes that are funny.

Example of a funny jokes
*Whats cheaper? Beer nuts or deer nuts?
-I dont know
*Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

by Hfatpeople December 13, 2010