The infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem is a theorem that was sparked in the early 21st century and still leaves philosophers baffled. The base premise of the theorem assumes that a Fruit-Roll Up is rolled around the shaft of a male's penis. This then begs the question, "Is it
gay if you were to take a bite out of a Fruit-Roll Up that was
miles in diameter but at its center, wrapped around a penis?"
Philosophers argued for years over whether the action would be
gay and the following theorem was created:
As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches infinity, gayness approaches zero.
As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches zero, gayness approaches infinity.
It is
key to note that no matter how thick and large in diameter the Fruit-Roll Up is, as
long as its center is rolled around a penis, it
will always be some form of
gay.
"I saw a massive
Fruit-Roll Up in my front yard
today and was about to take a bite but then remembered about the Infinite
Fruit-Roll Up Theorem and did not want to be associated with any form of gayness."