One of the worst possible places to live in the world. There is not much to do. You can't really go outdoors because its so hot and sunny that if you step outside for ten minutes you get a heat stroke. it sucks to go to the beach during the day because the sun burns like frekin hell. There are no mountains or anything nice. And yet all the retards from up north crowd it like crazy.
by hiiiippl April 22, 2011
The biggest dick in the U.S. Up north are the Rednecks and down low are the Cubans. Neither, of which you want to live with.
by The I.R.A. November 26, 2010
Florida is actually not a bad place if you live in one of the right areas. These places are usually on the southern half of the gulf coast and east coast.
While there are many stupid rednecks in the "southern" part, which is actually the northern area of Florida, everyone who lives here is not stupid. I happen to live about a mile away from the one of the best public high schools in the nation.
While there are many stupid rednecks in the "southern" part, which is actually the northern area of Florida, everyone who lives here is not stupid. I happen to live about a mile away from the one of the best public high schools in the nation.
by Katettttt April 8, 2006
-Hey Kevin we should go on a road trip to Florida
-Oh hell yea well go annoy old people, drink some O.J. and see some Death Metal shows
-Oh hell yea well go annoy old people, drink some O.J. and see some Death Metal shows
by MattBongwater March 3, 2011
The hell-hole I live in. The place where if you can't get a job at McD's, you decide to become a cop. The place that that moron George W's brother is governor. The place where Jeb Bush could not answer a math question that was on the 10th grade FCAT (standardized test). The place where there are very few smart people. The most popular place for hurricanes to hit in the country. The place where old people come to die. The place where spring-break kids come and party, get busted by the idiot cops, and then never leave. The place with beautiful beaches and morons on them.
The place that is inhabited by Spanish-speaking people, MORONS, more morons, idiot cops, old people who can't drive, spring break kids who can't drive, more morons, cops who break the law every day, more morons, some rednecks (like me), and VERY few intelligent people (like me).
This is the place that George W. originally said he "didn't need", but then had his brother steal it for him even thought Gore won the popular vote. The place where all the morons live, and the smart people can't find a way out because the idiots hinder their every move.
Also called the Sunshine state, although it rains almost every day.
Also called Hell's waiting room.
The place that is inhabited by Spanish-speaking people, MORONS, more morons, idiot cops, old people who can't drive, spring break kids who can't drive, more morons, cops who break the law every day, more morons, some rednecks (like me), and VERY few intelligent people (like me).
This is the place that George W. originally said he "didn't need", but then had his brother steal it for him even thought Gore won the popular vote. The place where all the morons live, and the smart people can't find a way out because the idiots hinder their every move.
Also called the Sunshine state, although it rains almost every day.
Also called Hell's waiting room.
1:"Hi, I'd like to work here."
2:"What's your IQ?"
1:"Forty!"
2:"Sorry, you can't work at McDonalds. Why don't you try the police station down the street?"
1:"I have to go to Florida to visit my grandparents."
2:"I love you, man. I'll see ya in heaven."
1:"Did you take the FCAT?"
2:"No, I'm a Bush. I don't have to."
"Do you speak English?"
"No."
Cop:"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
You:"No."
Cop:"Awww, dammit. I thought one of us would know. Oh, well. You ran a red light, okay? We'll say you ran a red light. Here's your ticket."
"What's our nation's capital?"
"Ummm...Miami?"
"What do you want to do today?"
"Ooh, let's play Bingo! I haven't done that since I had a heart attack last time I won! That was almost two months ago!"
"Oh, these beaches are beautiful."
"Yeah, will you still think so Tuesday?"
"What happens Tuesday?"
"That's when the hurricane is gonna hit."
"Which hurricane?"
"I got a 340 on the SAT!"
"Wow! That's good! I only got a 420!"
2:"What's your IQ?"
1:"Forty!"
2:"Sorry, you can't work at McDonalds. Why don't you try the police station down the street?"
1:"I have to go to Florida to visit my grandparents."
2:"I love you, man. I'll see ya in heaven."
1:"Did you take the FCAT?"
2:"No, I'm a Bush. I don't have to."
"Do you speak English?"
"No."
Cop:"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
You:"No."
Cop:"Awww, dammit. I thought one of us would know. Oh, well. You ran a red light, okay? We'll say you ran a red light. Here's your ticket."
"What's our nation's capital?"
"Ummm...Miami?"
"What do you want to do today?"
"Ooh, let's play Bingo! I haven't done that since I had a heart attack last time I won! That was almost two months ago!"
"Oh, these beaches are beautiful."
"Yeah, will you still think so Tuesday?"
"What happens Tuesday?"
"That's when the hurricane is gonna hit."
"Which hurricane?"
"I got a 340 on the SAT!"
"Wow! That's good! I only got a 420!"
by Perple September 18, 2004
Florida is a beautiful place, the weather and beaches are nice. Florida is really weird though, there are a few nice cities, and then there is boring redneck land. Places like Brevard County, where I live, lack culture. Also, there are too many rednecks and old people with IQs below 90 for my taste, and unfortunately they are eligible to participate in the democratic process. As a result the state that is supposedly a blue state, has 15 Republicans, and only 10 Democrats in the House of Representatives. Florida also has a Republican governor named Charlie Crist who wants to run for Senate in 2010. Although some speculate Charlie Crist is a homosexual, he is still popular among rednecks and old people who are usually homophobic. If you are looking to live somewhere where your children can receive probably the worst public school education in the U.S., your best best right now might be Florida. Governor of Florida Charlie Crist isn't worried about education, he's more concerned with getting the redneck and old person vote to further his career. Even though Charlie Crist admits to recreational marijuana use, Charlie Crist has signed legislation making Florida marijuana prohibition laws more harsh than those of the federal government. Charlie Crist has also approved of Jesus license plates for the state of Florida. You might've seen the governor of Florida on the news because he wants to run for senate, and they might call him a moderate Republican. In my opinion, governor of Florida Charlie Crist is a Sarah Palin/Rush Limbaugh breed of Republican. The only reason they say Charlie Crist is a moderate Republican, is because he liked the idea of getting stimulus money from Obama. Charlie Crist probably wants that stimulus money so he can lock up more non violent drug offenders and print lots of Jesus license plates. I would enjoy Florida alot more if the Republicans got voted out, and the rednecks would stop spawning with their sisters.
Me: So many tax dollars are wasted on incarcerating non violent drug offenders. Don't you think it would be better to use that money for education?
Redneck Republican: Well, I reckon to save money lockin up them druggies and feedin em, we should just give them the death penalty. Give the death penalty to queers too.
Old lady: A college student had 21 grams of that dangerous drug marijuana on him, luckily here in Florida that's a felony. Now he can't vote in a democrat, he lost his scholarship, and he'll be in prison for 5 years. I feel safer.
Redneck Republican: Well, I reckon to save money lockin up them druggies and feedin em, we should just give them the death penalty. Give the death penalty to queers too.
Old lady: A college student had 21 grams of that dangerous drug marijuana on him, luckily here in Florida that's a felony. Now he can't vote in a democrat, he lost his scholarship, and he'll be in prison for 5 years. I feel safer.
by FloridianWithIQOver90 May 12, 2009
How to describe Florida:
Old people driving 5mph to either Publix or Walmart, over-priced tourist attractions, a new child molester case on the news every day, snowbirds galore, a new cockroach somewhere every day as well, stupid politicians, 20 hurricanes every season, FCAT, emo/scene kids, hot weather with humidity to match.
One thing I do love about living here the last 8 years are the skies, flowers, and beaches... unless they're infested with tourists and fat hairy transvestites in speedos. Gross.
Also see Hell.
Old people driving 5mph to either Publix or Walmart, over-priced tourist attractions, a new child molester case on the news every day, snowbirds galore, a new cockroach somewhere every day as well, stupid politicians, 20 hurricanes every season, FCAT, emo/scene kids, hot weather with humidity to match.
One thing I do love about living here the last 8 years are the skies, flowers, and beaches... unless they're infested with tourists and fat hairy transvestites in speedos. Gross.
Also see Hell.
Old Man visiting Florida: look at the lively youth! playing with their water guns...
Old Woman visiting Florida: LOOK, HONEY! A BINGO HALL COMBINED WITH A WALMART! *slams brakes*
Old Woman visiting Florida: LOOK, HONEY! A BINGO HALL COMBINED WITH A WALMART! *slams brakes*
by sarahSANITY June 1, 2007