Ethyl hydrate, also known as ethyl alcohol. Is used as a taste enhancer in drinks. Has the unfortunate side effect of producing intoxication if abused.
The Five Stages of Alcohol Intoxication:
1. Smart --- you've just had two drinks, and feel as if you've become an expert on all things relating to the universe.
2. Rich --- you've had another drink, and now feel that girls will be attracted to you because you are now a millionaire and own a mansion and a yacht.
3. Good-looking --- you've had five drinks in total, and know that you are as
pretty as a picture. You also may believe that everyone is also as
pretty as a picture --- of an ape! In Europe, this is the target stage of drunkenness.
4. Bullet-proof --- this is when you really should quit drinking. You've had seven or eight drinks already, and feel that you could go to the leanest, meanest biker in the bar, flip him off, and walk away without a scratch because you have super-secret
government body armour. In America, this is the target stage of drunkenness.
5. Invisible --- STOP DRINKING, YOU
IDIOT. You've had well over ten drinks, and feel that you can dance naked on the street or on tables, and no-
one, but the person you'
re trying to impress, will see you. You
don't need to hide from the
people who want to fight you, as you can't be seen. And you can walk down the street singing the latest hip-hop song because no-
one can see or hear you and you know all the
words anyway.
Doctor: "Patient, female, 15 years old, suffered a nasty head
bump as a result of a UBI."
Nurse: "UBI?"
Doctor: "Unexplained beer injury. Was suffering from extreme EtOH poisoning at the time. Hence her lack of clothing."
