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The Gallagher of our generation. Dane Cook is a "comedian" that everyone seems to love despite his extreme mediocrity. His amazing lack of jokes combined with his ability to run around the stage like a five-year-old without his meds appeals to anyone without a soul or any knowledge of comedy. His trite and obvious observations contain no punchlines and often appeal to people with short attention spans.
You ever go into the bathroom and everything is WET? The floor is wet! The counters are wet! Everything's wet!

-Dane Cook

Uh... could it be because people piss on the floor and wash their hands aggressively?

-Andy Kindler
by Illusion February 19, 2007
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I accidentally saw this person on TV. He was telling how he used to be ugly but now is handsome with women falling all over him. He also told other "jokes."

Since I have not seen him on TV in many months, I suddenly missed his brand of absolutely no talent. Today I decided to write a short poem about the "comedian" known as Dane Cook.
I once saw Dane Cook on TV
Irritating the heck out of me
I watched in a trance
As he made faces and pranced
And asked myself, "What morons are paying good money to watch this crap?"

The end
by Norman R Fern May 25, 2012
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4
An overrated actor/comedian who isn't the least bit funny and is known for stealing his jokes from Louis CK. all he ever does is swear a lot and tell all these uninteresting and unfunny stories about his pathetic life, expecting people to laugh. Plus he's a singer, but a very, very bad one.
Dane Cook: Why do they call bananas bananas? Shouldn't they be called FUNanas because theyre fun and they're full of deliciousness? Isn't that like the point of eating a banana? Well that's why I eat a banana now STEP OFF!

Retarded audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That Dane Cook.....
by Truelove February 26, 2008
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6
A chuckle-at-best of a comedian who will disappear as quick as he came. 20 years from now, he'll be as memorable as Yakov Shmirnoff or Paula Poundstone. You may have already forgotten about him and his stolen, tired act by the time your done reading this.
guy: what the hell is wrong with your hand?
dude: it's the sufi. You know.... Dane Cook.
guy: Who?...oh right that guy. (pause) I hate that I know you.
by 90% Airzooka August 19, 2007
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