Crown Princess Mary of Denmark 

Australian "Love account manager" and gold-digger who married into the Danish Royal Family in 2004. Known for using pointy-toed stillettoes to nail the balls of Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark (aka 'the Dumbling') to the walls of a share-house in Sydney, Australia, on their first date. Famous for crying on Denmark television as she recounted her love for her dead grandmother - before a reporter revealed he had found her letters in Mary's trash bin. The Danish Royal Family invented the 'post-nuptial agreement' as damage control in the wake of revelations about Mary's relatives, who include a convicted child rapist, Brendan Johncock.

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark, born plain Mary Donaldson in the boondocks of Tasmania, rose to fame, and then infamy, as the novelty of having a Nordic Imelda Marcos wore off and the Danish taxpayer revoted when she installed 20 bathrooms in the palace.

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark by Miggly January 1, 2007