Top definition
(Not literally) a confused person even though this person probably should be as cognizant a famous Chinese philosopher
Whoa whoa slow down I'm Confucius
via giphy
by Pap¡ October 21, 2016
Get the merch
Get the Confucius neck gaiter and mug.
Sep 6 Word of the Day
Style with Ease
Damn that was a steezy ass kickflip son!
by niggaliciouszor April 29, 2007
Get the mug
Get a steezy mug for your boyfriend Trump.
One of the most influential thinkers of all time. He lived durring the Spring and Autum Period, durring the decline of Zhou China. Confucius tried and failed to obtain political office in his lifetime, and his greatest legacy is in the Analacets which his diciples compiled after his death.

Confucius stresses a simple life of filial piety and devotion to ritual. Like most great thinkers, his ideas would eventually be mangled beyond recognition by those seeking traditional justification for misogyny, xenophobia and a number of other nasty concepts espoused by Neo-Confucianists.
Confucius said, "The gentleman is not a tool".

Confucious clearly saw the rise of A&F.
by Steven Hopkins March 06, 2007
Get the merch
Get the Confucius neck gaiter and mug.
Chinese philosopher whose Analects contain a collection of his sayings and dialogues compiled by disciples after his death.
"Study the past if you would define the future."

by History nut December 26, 2003
Get the mug
Get a Confucius mug for your mom Zora.
The man whose teachings are indirectly responsible for the pressures that Asian parents impose on their children
AznNerd93: omg my parents told me to break up with my girlfriend for the sake of filial piety due to this Confucius dude
by inquilinekea June 15, 2007
Get the mug
Get a Confucius mug for your father-in-law José.
Confucius was a Chinese teacher and philosopher born 551 BC in Zou. His teachings are obviously influenced by a mixture of tea, heroin, sugar, cocaine, LSD, blueberries, apple juice, methamphetamine, prozac, zoloft, lots of ambien and a pinch of salt. He would normally make this mixture and ingest it about 15 minutes before meditating. When he would come out of his meditative state which usually lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 126 days he would then write down his sayings. He also made his own paper in a mill he had built in his back yard. He never wrote anything on Saturday or Monday, not for religious reasons but because his wife ran a part time restaurant out of his paper mill building on those two days preventing him from making paper. He wrote the recipes for the restaurant which included several savory cat and dog meat stir fry dishes along with a customer favorite desert made from vultures liver baked into a pie and served with a light glaze made of sugar mixed with warm stomach acid from a North American snailshank whipperfish. Confucius died in 479 BC and was buried in 1976.
Confucius sure wrote alot of interesting sayings but, they can be confusing at times.
by saharadryhumor October 18, 2014
Get the merch
Get the Confucius neck gaiter and mug.
A hand-job, or manual release, from a Chinese massage therapist of at least 50 years of age.
I asked for a happy ending, but had to settle for a confucius.
by Truffle_Shuffle January 06, 2012
Get the merch
Get the Confucius neck gaiter and mug.