A mouthbreathing illiterate moron's mishearing and subsequent misspelling or mispronunciation of the word "comeuppance." The combination of "cum" and "muffins" adds hilarity to the usage of the term, as the word is typically placed in the syntax as an object to be received, as a result of karma, by a person perceived to have committed a wrong.
Yeah, that asshole screwed my best friend after I loaned him 400 dollars, but sooner or later he's going to get his cumuffins.
What someone would receive after insulting a baker. Similar to that of getting comeuppance, except this involves a baker using less cowmilk and more manmilk in the muffins.
Some guy: Hey baker! You and your buns can suck it!
Baker: How about a free muffin to change your mind?
Some guy: Fine, we'll see
(Om nom nom)
Some guy: WTF? Salty muffins?
Baker: Them be some cumuffins mothafucka!
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.