Boyfriend Disease 

A condition characterized by first, always needing a boyfriend, and, second, giving complete and total attention to said boyfriend. Symptoms usually include: loss of friends, annoying snaps and posts, and an awful boyfriend who looks like he stinks.

I really miss Michael. I haven't seen him in ages because he has boyfriend disease.

Boyfriend Disease by Grandma430 November 26, 2017

Ex-boyfriend Disease 

Ex-boyfriend Disease, otherwise known as Pompous Ass Disease. Warning symptoms include heart palpitations, diarrhea, severe headaches and a compulsive need to flee the country. There are many specimens that have been known to be infectious. If you happen to come in contact with one, back away slowly, avoid eye contact, and disinfect immediately!

Woman: I ran into Roger today..
Woman's friend: That bastard! And you had just stopped having diarrhea.

Woman: I know...I tried to run but he was too fast. Next thing I know, I have the sudden urge to live in Australia and go to the bathroom.

Woman's friend: You poor thing, I know quite a bit how you feel. I contracted Ex-boyfriend disease from Jake a year ago. The diarrhea comes and goes just thinking about it.

Ex-boyfriend Disease by MonkeyBubbles July 13, 2017