Balamer 

n. In Baltimoron, this is the "home city" of Baltimore. While this is the usual spelling for the word, a more correctly phonetic spelling would be "Bawlamer." (Those of you in the Mid-West might pronounce the first "a" as a short a, and that would be incorrect.) Baltimore is frequently shortened further to "Balmer." Again, this is the accepted spelling, but a more correctly phonetic spelling would be "Bawlmer."

"Doen'cha knoe, I'm from Balamer,
'n' crabs is whut I'm eechin' feur!
Doen'cha knoe, Santa dear,
With sum cold crabs 'nd a beer,
It would be jus like a trip back to old Bal-tee-more,
Baaaaal-teeee-mooore!"
-- David DeBoy, 'Crabs For Christmas'

Balamer by Dan Weyandt April 9, 2008

Ballmer Peak

The theory that computer programmers obtain quasi-magical, superhuman coding ability when they have a blood alcohol concentration percentage between 0.129% and 0.138%. The discovery of this effect is attributed to Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft - who probably "discovered" it by simply monitoring his own perpetually inebriated nervous system, and deducing that programming ability "peaks" after a few drinks and then dips dramatically after full-blown drunkenness ensues.

If you can convince your boss that this is all based on legitimate science, and that the effect is real (i.e. your drunkeness = better code = more money for the company), then you will have achieved perfection in this world. There will be no reason to ever come back sober from lunch again.

Also known as "The Ballmer Curve" and "The Ballmer Effect" this state has been observed by people who play darts... and musicians. Although, to be fair, musicians only notice the effect briefly (and totally by accident) as they transition from complete sobriety to absolute drunkeness - without ever even trying to moderate their alcohol intake in order to stay at the peak.

I had three more Long Island Teas after I had already hit the Ballmer Peak, so now none of my fucking code will compile.

Ballmer Peak by cathodeRay February 4, 2008

lag-blamer 

The kid on any type of online game that doesn't get any kills or dies more times than he gets kills (terrible kill to death ratio) because of 'the lag'. There is usually no lag and the person playing is usually a lier to make him sound better at the game.

"anyone one else seein' this lag?"

"no, my connection seems to be okay."

"must be my connection because i went 2 to 12"

"your such a lag-blamer"

lag-blamer by throwitontheground November 25, 2009

Steve Ballmer 

A fat sweaty twat...
He is also the CEO of Microsoft.

"Look it's Steve Ballmer, slating yet enough successful Apple product."

Steve Ballmer by Jakey-Mckenzie August 6, 2008

balamory 

Balamory is a completely insane scotland-based show designed for pre-school children, but has managed to gain a cult following from all ages.

The show revolves around the small island comminity Balamory in Scotland. Is incredibly hilarious when watched with the sign language dude. -imitates-

Miss Hoolie appears in every episode and the nursery worker, and has very creepy eyes, annoyingly perfect hair and an equally annoying voice.

Archie the inventor IS THE BEST CHARACTER (just to clear anything up. -points at Jenhen and laughs-) He makes "inventions" from cardboard and yoghurt pots and all sorts of random shit. Lives in a pink castle and wears a lot of pink. Has man breasts.

PC Plum is the resident policeman and is a complete twat. Quite obviously has a thing for Miss Hoolie. Is not the best character, though he is sweet. -pats him on the head-

Josie Jump just annoys the hell out of me with her insane bounciness. So I'm writing nothing. NOTHING AT ALL. NOTHING TO SEE HERE MOVE ALONG 8D

Spencer is the painter and musician on the island, though he can play bugger all and can't even fake playing the guitar properly.

Edie McCredie is the annoying bitch who drives some random bus and apparently has travelled around the world.

Susie Sweet and Penny Pocket own some sort of shop-cafe-thing that always has just what the customer wants right at the front of the shop. Convenient, eh?

Balamory is not just for little kids! Us teenagers can watch it too!

balamory by Fuyuko May 2, 2004

Steve Ballmer 

Current CEO of computer powerhouse Microsoft. Famous on many message boards for his inspirational talk videos, in which he gets really worked up about everything. In one video, He repeats the word "developers" many times until the crowd starts chanting, and often times now people will makes jokes in reference to this video.

When Bill Gates stepped down as CEO of Microsoft, he appointed Steve Ballmer as the new CEO.

Steve Ballmer by Big Al P November 28, 2004

balmer 

slang of the city of Baltimore,MD...

Balmer is a pretty city!

balmer by pah May 13, 2005