A town in central PA. Full of old people and druggies. Not a lot for young people to do other than brawl at the McDonald’s behind AAJHS, go to Sk8-1-4, skate at Galactic, and smoke lots and lots of weed. Other than being known for its trains and history, it’s also known for:
- Sheetz
- Texas Hot Dogs
- Gangster-wannabe’s
- And finally, more white people than black people that use the N-word.
Person 1: Hey, I’m hungry, where do you wanna go to eat?
Person 2: Let’s order an MTO at Sheetz in Altoona!
Person 1: I’d rather snort lettuce than eat another MTO.
by Guitar_player1202 July 30, 2018
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The sweetest city in existence. It's got the only Super Sheetz in the world, and some trains. There's a mall, too.
I hear that when you die, if you've lived a holy life, you ascend into Altoona, PA.
by J-Rike May 2, 2007
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See also: Hell

A city in Central Pennsylvania. Usually, people who come from this area are uneducated. Literacy rates are lower here than any other city in the Northern United States. 78% of female teens (under 18) are pregnant. Obesity rates are also among the highest of any other City in the United States.

Altoona is a retirement community, based around old people, waiting to die. It's main commerce consists of drug trafficking and prostitution. Disease runs rampent, as 28% of the city's supply of drinking water is contaminated with protazoan cysts and oocysts, mercury, and DDT.

The population of people under 60 (which is 12%) are all redneck farmers or want-to-be gansters. In fact, i've become dumber just thinking about Altoona.

Main forms of entertainment in Altoona are drugs, racing on the boulevard, and hanging out at Sheetz(a gas station).
Man one: Wanna go to dat der Altoona and hang out down der at da Sheetz?

Man two: *puts gun in mouth* *BANG!*

Man one: Oh no! You got blood on my new overalls!
by Samual Malone January 5, 2011
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A kick-ass town in Iowa. Only 15,000 people, altoona holds a theme park and a casino
by thaman1010 March 24, 2011
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“hey, should i bring the altoona’s to the concert?”
by goodgoiiiiil45 March 27, 2018
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A high school in altoona pennsylvania hosting about 2500 students, 7 hundred of them are pregnant teens, 3 hundred are the boyfriends of the pregnant teens, 1 thousand of the students do drugs and the rest are normal...kinda. The school consists of 2 buildings where one was built in in the 1910s and the other was built in the 1950s....and yes you can tell the difference in age. remodeling isnt part of the budget even though the damn jr. high school kids get a brand new school with a kick ass cafe that sits right across the street.
by mortmar May 21, 2009
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Small town in South East Kansas with a population of about 500 people or so. Tourists can look for Harpers Country Store (the only gas station for 10 miles), The Nut Hut (the only restaurant for 10 miles, specialty is mountain oysters), the post office, cemetary, and that is it. The most fun a kid can look for in Altoona, KS is getting drunk. But make sure you get your alcohol from another town, because otherwise you're stuck with Milwaukee's Best.
by Lil Jus December 29, 2010
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