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17 Years of Deception 

It feels like 17 years of deception.

17 years of putting you in such a high pedestal.

spent every moment of the 17 years thinking of you because I wanted everything to work perfectly.

17 years of understanding you just as far as you wanted to be understood, 17 years of believing in you as you would like to believe in yourself.
And as I sat there, brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of myself wondering when I will first pick out your light at the end of my dock. I had come such a long way to this blue lawn, and my dream must have seemed so close I could hardly fail to grasp it. But what I did not know was that it was already behind me, somewhere in the vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.

17 years of deception or 7 years of torture and loneliness.

I will never reach out to you although it’s the only thing I ever wanted.
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