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Spanking your Monkey

Spanking your monkey is the act of masturbating and slapping your scrotum simultaneously. One may use this term as a synonym to jerking off or gooning.
After seeing Joe spanking his testes while jerking off, I found out he was spanking his monkey.

Later I confronted him saying "Were you spanking your monkey?"
by GooseInKai April 24, 2024
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Spanked

Bro 1: You bro you playin *game* tonight?
Bro 2: nah dog, I’m lowkey spanked.
by myguyandrew May 23, 2024
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pan-spank-sual

A spanko who enjoys spanking play with all genders. They may identify as straight or gay and have a preferred gender that they play with but also enjoy spanking other genders as well. Or, they could identify as bisexual or pansexual and enjoy spanking all genders.

Who you like to spank is not necessarily in accordance with who you are sexually attracted to. Some people like platonic spankings.
Person 1: Do you know if that female top plays with women? I heard she has a boyfriend and is a straight girl.

Person 2: Yeah! She's pan-spank-sual. I've seen her use the hairbrush on a naughty young lady before.
by girlwhogetsspanked March 26, 2024
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The sentence no-one wants to hear!

The BBC are preparing to send an emergency broadcast alert, Highways England shuts all the motorways apart from emergency and military personal - whom will be on standby, the UK economy ceases trading, the Government shuts down internet access for the entire country; these are all the impacts of when Spack No.1 fires up his spanking fetish...
MUUUUUUUUM! JACK'S SPANKING AGAIN!
by Jack Spank9049 July 28, 2022
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The absolute most catastrophic event in the Earth's history, should it happen.

The BBC will send out an emergency broadcast alert, all motorways in the UK will be shut apart from emergency services and military personnel. Southampton will be relegated to the Championship, Pareth Pouthgate will sign a new contract with England, Tesco will stop its £3.50 meal deal, Alex Turner will no longer want to be part of The Strokes, an asteroid will be on a crash collision course with Earth and nothing can be done about it, Pisstiano Penaldo and Parry Pane will both score hattricks against Southampton, Portsmouth will win the Caribou cup again, Bluestar Bus will stop its £1 fares after 6PM, Domino's will no longer do Two for Tuesday, Pizza Hut will stop its £5 favourites, Papa Johns will stop its £8.99 large pizza collection deal, Virgin Media will go out of business, the sale of Elf Bar vapes will be banned in the UK, the servers for Call of Duty World at War will shut down, labour will lose the next general election. These aren't all the events that will happen and just the ones I have on the top of my head...
Spack No.2:MUUUUUUUUM! JACK'S SPANKING AGAIN!

Rishi Sunak or who ever the fuck is PM at the time: "You must ration all essential supplies now and limit outside contact"
by Jack Spank9049 July 30, 2022
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crank it and spank it

When used in business: wrap it up and get on with the task.

Note: if you have an HR department you should not use this phrase in business.
Okay team, let’s crank it and spank it!”
by Shh shh shh August 1, 2022
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Spanks Hank

The modern term created for thank you. It was created by an Oregon Insurance Agent who created a typo in an email to another agent but birthed a new word. The spanks hank. You smack it in the end of your email when you want to say thank you but hit your recipient with a confusion.
Hi Mark, I received for the documents.
Spanks hank.
by Turbulentcucumber August 3, 2022
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