Post-wank

When you keep jacking off even though you already came.

George jizzed everywhere but continued on in post-wank shame.

by Dickweed McGee May 3, 2014

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Alpha Wank

When a male has a wank staring at himself in the mirror, usually accompanied with positive remarks "you're a fuckin good looking bastard"
One would engage in such activities to build confidence within themselves as an alpha and also in the bedroom.

Bro I had the best alpha wank last night, I feel real alpha today from it

by M3n1s January 11, 2022

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wank parade

Wanking more than 3 times in night, usually while maintaining nudity.

Last Thursday i was bored while home alone so i decided to have a wank parade to pass time

by stuy.bee November 22, 2010

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Wank Window

A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.

Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.

Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.

by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012

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