When the sudden urge to jizz is so overwhelming that you have to stop everything and have an emergency wank
Jesus Christ. I was at McDonald's drive-thru earlier when I had to abandon the car and run into the disabled toilets for an emergency wank. It was like I was possessed
by Mrrobot7891 August 7, 2020
Get the Emergency wank mug.A wank window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse 'performing art' videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. Mission control usually grants wank windows when the wife has gone to Tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. Wank windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.
Courier: I tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn't answer the door. I rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant twat!
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.
Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.
Boss: How'd he look?
Courier: Funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.
Boss: Son, a man's wank window is sacred. When you're married you'll understand.
by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012
Get the Wank Window mug.by el foldo December 1, 2011
Get the Status Wank mug.Grammatically correct term for mastrubation. Wank is the verb preceding crank (noun.)
A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.
A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.
Billy's grandmother nearly fainted when she saw him wank the crank to the nude pygmies in the National Geographic.
by Macsloan October 19, 2019
Get the wank the crank mug.The act of a zombie forcibly removing its penis (easily done due to the rotting flesh), and then rapidly inserting the hole where the penis used to be
Zombie 1: “Arrrggh” *Wow I just had the best zombie wank ever!*
Zombie 2: “Argh” *Yeah thanks that was mine*
Zombie 2: “Argh” *Yeah thanks that was mine*
by Lezo August 25, 2021
Get the Zombie Wank mug.When you partake in the hobby of masturbation and SPUNK into your hand give someone a slap across the face
by Wankyman6969 June 12, 2021
Get the Wank-Spank mug.When your merging into one lane to merge on the highway and the car behind you tries to overtake with 5 m to spare.
They are a Wank Dick.
They are a Wank Dick.
by Driving January 1, 2022
Get the Wank Dick mug.