Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

turtle dust

When you go to the restroom and you feel like you have to let one go and it feels like a turtle head sticking out and its really just dust.

Man I went to bathroom thinking I was going to have a good one and it turned out to be turtle dust.

by Bill Joe77 January 16, 2017

Turtle Tears

An insincere display of sorrowful emotion.

The little girl shed turtle tears as she hoped her angry mother would not scold her for jumping on the bed.

by Meowmix789 October 24, 2017

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

Turtle fight

Two circumcised men get hard and try to dock, resulting in a turtle fight.

After reading about docking online, Tj and Shawn attempted to dock. Because both men were circumcised, it resulted in a turtle fight.

by Imnotafuckingtypewriter January 20, 2018

Turtle golf

The art of loosing a golf ball, in a water hazard, while playing for money and miraculously finding it when no one is looking.

No fucking way he got a par!!
He straight Turtle golf’d It!

by Neverlostaballever August 30, 2018

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018