Muffled Trumpet

When you sense you lady friend is about to flatulate in the act of cunnilingus, reach your hand between her loins open palmed and gently press against her bum hole, and control the release of wind at your discretion.

Jake: "I can't go down on my wife after Taco Tuesday, if you know what I mean."
Matt: "Yo, you gotta play the muffled trumpet. Works wonders with Lexi. She loves it."
Jake: "Just get up in there?"
Matt: "I straight Miles Davised Lexi last Tuesday. Just take it into your own hands. Pun intended."

by bboymono January 28, 2015

Chilly Trumpet

The act of accidentally touching the moist freezing rim of the toilet with the end of your cock whilst you sit on the shitter contemplating life and snapchatting your nearest and dearest.

It is by the most uncomfortable experience a man can endure.

"Man, I just experienced a chilly trumpet whilst snapping Jessica about what happened in Oceana last night"

"Oh dear how unpleasant!"

by Jonathon Pembersley April 23, 2015

Vagina Trumpet

aka "The lower load blower."

Nicknamed for the male organ signifying its instrument for sex and making music

Dude1: Hey bro did you fuck that band whore we met at the musical ?
Dude2:Bro YES! Her lips were trimboning my vagina trumpet.
Dude1:That sounds classical !

by Dicmaster92 March 17, 2016

hiney trumpet

What you would call someone or, more specifically, someone's bum when they have a loud, rumbling passing of gas.

Oh my god, did you just fart? I felt that hiney trumpet over here!

Dude, seriously? You're a damn hiney trumpet!

by piratefire777 September 19, 2016

anal trumpet

When you blow into ones asshole, and it makes a sound like a trumpet

Hey lover come here and let me play your anal trumpet

by TrÜtH September 4, 2016

Habanero Trumpet

You eat a large amount of spicy food before sex and during you leave a foul smelling spicy steamer on your lovers chest or face

"I told him I liked it spicy in the bedroom so he gave me a Habanero Trumpet"

by Krazychris89 July 25, 2016

frozen trumpet

Freezing your own poo and using it as a solid dildo

I really enjoyed using my frozen trumpet last night

by Lovely human being December 26, 2016